Conversation With Kelly:
me: I have the awesomest fund raiser idea EVER!
me: We should sell Kevin the Chicken Pseudo Crack! We could charge like $35 for baby aspirin. This is the best idea ever!
Kelly: Dude, you CANNOT sell fake crack on the internet.
me: Why not? You can sell ANYTHING on the internet. I’ll bet I could buy an ostrich turd on ebay RIGHT NOW!
Kelly: We’re all going to jail.
me: Seriously, you should be more supportive. Now, where do we get some of those tiny baggies?
20 Minutes Later:
me: I’m trying to get my mother to read the blog right now, but she’s being mean because they just dug a tooth out of her jawbone. Bitch.
Kelly: I’m going to great lengths to prevent my mother from EVER reading it. If she knew I used the “f” word, she’d probably try to disown me.
me: I use the “f” word around my mom all the time. Well, actually, lately I’ve been saying “farkles” which I’ve decided is an abbreviation for “Sparkling Fuck.”
Kelly: HA HA HA HA
me: Wait! Do you think we could sell people FARKLES coffee mugs?
me: Do you think someone would pay $24.95 for one? I totally don’t want to have to make very many.
Kelly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lazy ass.
me: I’m posting this.