This morning, I wrote a letter begging zazzle.com to give 10% of the profits they make on our bajingo-related schwag to Planned Parenthood. Here’s what I wrote:
|Dear Zazzlers,First off, great job at being awesome*. We at the Rubber Chicken Society (RCS) love the fact that we can make rad stuff here, and ACTUALLY try to sell it. You guys allow small organizations like ours to do cool stuff in a NICE manner — whereas normally we would be making this stuff with a stapler, a sharpie, and some glue. You make us look kinda classy — which our moms totally appreciate as they have been trying to class us up for years with only limited success.
Recently, the RCS has created a new subsidiary called the Bajingo Liberation Front (BLF). The BLF is dedicated to promoting world-wide bajingo freedom and education. To help further the cause of bajingos everywhere, the BLF has recently put several bajingo related designs on your website (check out our “Chicken*s” store), and is donating the proceeds from the sale of this merchandise to Planned Parenthood. So, here’s our pitch: would you guys (who are, as was previously noted pretty awesome) consider matching our donation and giving 10% of anything YOU make on our schwag to Planned Parenthood? If you do, we will not only tell everyone we know about your superlative awesomeness, but we will give you mad props on our blog (www.rubberchickensociety.wordpress.com), AND make you all Honorary BLF members (conscripted).
Thanks for your consideration! Keep on being awesome!
RCS Press Representative
*I read somewhere that when you’re begging people for crap, you’re supposed to start with a compliment. I feel stupid doing this, so my compliments are usually super generic: “Hey, way to go at BREATHING! Keep it up!”
In other news:
Planned Parenthood has an app that can tell you if you’re pregnant.
I guess I was RIGHT about the weird retinal scanning space age freakiness over there, WASN’T I, KELLY?
This is why we HAVE to be on their team!