This morning RCS Headquarters revcieved this email from the RCS One-Man Engineering Department (Andrew):
Will you please stop sending me weird drawings of shit I’m supposed to build for you? The Engineering Department is BUSY trying to build the other crap you’ve come up with over the past week. Need I remind you about the space pasties incident (SPACETEES — flying saucer shaped pasties that light up and spin ((registered, trademark))? I do not regard, “Just glue them to Sirrah when she’s asleep and time how long they stick,” as conscientious product testing. I don’t even want to talk about the blow job snorkle.
I know you think you’re being helpful with these diagrams, but I’d like to point out a few MASSIVE problems with what you’ve sent. 1) Just because you write PLAN in the upper left hand corner does not make this a viable schematic. 2) According to your “PLAN”, the rocket you want me to design is approximately 4,000 miles long with a 3,000 mile long rubber chicken taped to it. 3) Thank you for designating this planet as “Earth,” otherwise the Engineering Department would have been very confused. Due to this design, the Engineering Department can only assume that we have until the continents collide and reconfigure themselves to complete your rocket. This is the only accurate area of your “PLAN.” You’re right. It will probably take exactly that long to build a 4,000 mile long rocket.
Chill the fuck out!
RCS Engineering Department (Andrew)
And THIS is what we sent back:
Dear RCS Engineering Department,
You know we think you’re awesome, right? Enclosed is an updated PLAN that should help you to build this all-important rocket.
The RCS Space Race is now designated TOP PRIORITY. I know you’re anxious to get to the blow job snorkle product testing, BUT WE ARE IN A PISSING CONTEST WITH 8 YEAR OLDS! This is WAR! Thank you for your continuing support. Keep on rockin’!