Sirrah posted this link on our facebook page last night: www.slutsacrossamerica.org. Check out that page to 1) find out where all the sluts are (there’s a map with trucker-mudflap-girl icons that tells you) — I’m sure there are some tourism boards in some countries that will be here un-named that are already scrambling to create travel plans based on the information provided by this organization — and 2) to self identify as a slut. Check it out, and help support women’s rights to not spend their adult lives barefoot and pregnant.
After looking at Sluts Across America myself, I decided that they were the perfect sister society for the Bajingo Liberation Front. Honestly, I don’t know how the whole sisterness concept actually works. I mean, do you think Honshu, Japan actually went, “Hey, Hays, Kansas, we think you guys are totally with it. Want to be sister cities?’ and then everyone smiles and puts up a sign? Maybe. I don’t know. It seems like one of the places on those signs is actually exponentially cooler than the other one. I don’t think Paris, France would be down with hanging out with Liebenthal, KS any place other than on a sign that no one FROM Paris will ever see. Anyway, I decided to at least try to be cool and actually ASK Sluts Across America if they’ll play with us. If it doesn’t work, we can always just put up a sign.
Here’s What I Wrote:
Way to go on identifying all the hot-beds of American sluts (get it, “hot-beds” HA HA HA)*. This is the kind of USEFUL information that the U.S. Census should have been gathering. In your face, U.S. Census!
I’m writing you today on behalf of the Rubber Chicken Society to let you know about our newly fledged subsidiary organization: The Bajingo Liberation Front. It seems that we have many of the same concerns in mind. You can read all about the Bajingo Liberation Front on our blog: www.rubberchickensociety.wordpress.com or directly by clicking here: https://rubberchickensociety.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/the-rcs-enters-the-political-arena-through-the-bajingo/. Be sure to check up the follow up article where I let Planned Parenthood know we’re coming: https://rubberchickensociety.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/open-letter-to-planned-parenthood-and-why-this-will-never-work/. We have also created lots of pro-bajingo merchandise on zazzle.com. The proceeds from the sale of this schwag are going directly to Planned Parenthood. So far, we’ve made a whopping $2.40 for the cause, but we believe in our products. Who wouldn’t want to sport an “Aren’t There Enough Bastards” t-shirt?
The Bajingo Liberation Front (BLF) has big plans for the future. We are already working on an educational series called: “Know Your Bajingo,” to help educate women on the mysteries of chick plumbing. The boys get an article, too: “Mastering Man-Tackle” is also currently in the works. We also plan to be in the vanguard, defending a woman’s right to choose not to procreate with the tools we’ve been given – mostly construction paper, staples, and glues sticks.
So…(and this is always the awkward part) hey….could we be like sister organizations or something? There’s nothing really in it for you, other than that sometimes it’s cool to be nice to nerds.
Thanks for your kind attention. We appreciate it. We will also be pimping your organization on our blog. Maybe we can help you find a few more sluts, because believe me, WE KNOW A LOT OF THEM!
Keep on Rockin’!
The Rubber Chicken Society/Bajingo Liberation Front
Johnny Spot (RCS Press Representative)
*I think it’s always nice to start with a joke, don’t you?
Be sure to go to www.slutsacrossamerica.org and fill out their “I’m a slut because…” box. I filled it out. I said, “I’m a slut because I don’t want to have sex through a hole in a bed sheet because it’s some kind of procreation-based marital duty. I want to have sex through a hole in a bed sheet because it’s FUN.” If you want to help out the BLF, go ahead and send your own email to the sluts: firstname.lastname@example.org. Enjoy!
Stay tuned for: Know Your Bajingo, Mastering Man-Tackle, Notes From the RCS Space Program, Kevin Gets a Job, and (coming soon) RCS Puppet Theater.