Today, in news of the douchecanoe, George Zimmerman’s wife got arrested for perjury. You guys know who George Zimmerman is right? He’s the uber-weenie who shot Trayvon Martin because evidently hoodies are fucking terrifying. This is his super-hot wife, Shellie:
Shellie just got nailed for perjury because she said that she and George didn’t have a pot to piss in at his bail hearing — when REALLY they had been given over 250 thousand dollars in donations. George and Shellie, you see, set up this website and paypal account so that people could help them defray their legal expenses…which brings us to today’s topic:
When I read this article on the HuffPost, (you can too, click here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/12/shellie-zimmerman-arrested-george-zimmerman-wife_n_1591153.html) I was totally shocked. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR SHOOTING AN INNOCENT KID BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED OF A FUCKING HOODIE AND SOMEHOW THOUGHT A BAG OF SKITTLES WAS A GUN? WTF!?!?!?! AND — Shellie and George are using this donated bankroll to (WAIT FOR IT) pay off their high class Sam’s Club Card. That should make you morons who donated to his defense totally proud. Yep, you just purchased a set of tacky lawn furniture and a mattress pad. Did you think you were buying “justice?” Who in the hell are you people anyway? Let me just take a stab at guessing:
If you fit into any of the categories pictured above, you’re pretty much already totally screwed as a human being. I know that (at this point in your shitty little existences) you pretty much have nothing to lose karma-wise, but could you PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER IT IS YOU THINK IS HOLY (probably Moonpies and Natty Lite) STOP GIVING THIS FUCKSOCK MONEY. Just think about it. You could have had one hell of a gathering of assholes for 250k. You guys would have really rocked that Tallahassee Motel 6, what with your vitriolic consumption of combustible “hand-made” alcohol products and Skynnard cassettes. Now you’ve just wasted your dough. You’ll probably never even get to sit on Shellie’s new furniture. I hope you feel stupid. You deserve it.
P.S. Please make sure to report your donation to Zimmerman on your taxes. It provides the rest of us with a simple, elegant dipshit tracking system. I think you “donors” should get real familiar with the phrase: “first up against the wall when the revolution comes.” Just sayin’.