Mega Plague Nearly Kills Me
Look, I’m sure that there was a lot of bad shit in the world this week — like the Egyptian government collapsing, the economy, Europe destabilizing, Mitt Romney — but mainly I’ve been concerned with the fact that I’m so sick that my attention span is smaller than a gnat turd, and all I want to do is sleep and hork. I also think I’ve been pretty much Robotrippin 24/7 for the last three days. For me the week’s worst was the fight I got into with Dina at the CVS yesterday when I was trying valiently to purchase some cold medicine. Basically, you now have to sign your entire life away to buy any kind of pills that might actually make you feel better. THANKS, METH HEADS, you STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS! Dina (CVS Pharmacy Tech) decided that a really good time to experiment with Texas State Drug Regulations is when a seriously sick person is standing at your counter coughing all over the store. Dina got told. Then I felt bad, and had to say, “Look, Dina, I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m just really sick. Sorry. Stupid meth heads.” She laughed and gave me a candy bar and an application for a CVS card. I guess it worked out okay.
A note to Meth Heads: FUCK YOU GUYS. FUCK YOU TO DEATH WITH A DIRTY SPOON. I hate you guys — so much. Look, I don’t really care if you want to smoke driveway cleaner. Have at it. Get wasted on cat poop and stool softener, I don’t care. Just don’t fucking do it to the extent that you fuck everyone else over. I mean, how the fuck much pseudoephidrine did you assholes have to BUY before the government made a whole system to stop you? Basically, not only are you stupid, but you’re GREEDY. If you’d just cooked up enough for everybody who lives in your trailer, no one ever would have noticed — but, no, you decided to get Meth rich (which basically means you can afford the name brand kool-aid, but not dental work) and over-produce. Now we’ve got flaming mobile meth labs rolling down major highways because people who FLUNKED HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY somehow think they’re competent to create drugs fit for human ingestion, and I CAN’T GET SOME GOD DAMNED TYLONAL SEVERE COLD AND FLU pills without having to present four kinds of valid identification and pass a retinal scan. Seriously, meth heads — go fuck yourselves. P.S. I hear strychnine will get you high as fuck. It’s an active ingrediant in rat poison. Cook that shit up. Enjoy.