Your (Somewhat) Weekly Wrap-Up…

Week’s Best:

We Get Our First Ever Link-Back From The Last Haunting

We got our first ever link-back from awesome blogger thelasthaunting this week.  This chick is a zombie afficienado who writes about other crazy stuff like The Jersey Devil (which wikipedia defines as a “flying biped with hooves”).  You can check out her blog here:

Huge Fight Breaks Out At Preschool Graduation

I don’t know if y’all saw this, but it’s definitely worth a look.  Evidently a fight broke out at this preschool graduation because the kids had to share a cap and gown for the photo ops, and the adults present had evidently flunked “Sharing 101.”  A CAP AND GOWN!  Why in the hell are you putting preschoolers in a cap and gown?  Although, with parents like these, this crappy graduation is the only one these kids might ever get.  The best part is when a grown assed woman shouts, “FIGHT, FIGHT!” You can watch it here:

Sirrah Takes Gay?!? Okay!! T-shirt on First Memphis Foray

Sirrah took her brand spankin’ new Gay?!? Okay!!! t-shirt out on walk-about this week in Memphis, TN.  She reported that she recieved many compliments and that at least three people wanted to know where to buy the shirt.  You can get it here:  It comes in many sizes and colors and is so super awesome that it may have the magical ability to make you poop Skittles (the prior does not constitute any sort of a guarantee, so don’t sue me if you crap Milk Duds).  While she was out, Sirrah encountered many interesting characters including the V from Vendetta guy and THIS unicorn (who has hair so happy that she probably already craps Skittles):








Week’s Worst:

Mega Plague Nearly Kills Me

Look, I’m sure that there was a lot of bad shit in the world this week — like the Egyptian government collapsing, the economy, Europe destabilizing, Mitt Romney — but mainly I’ve been concerned with the fact that I’m so sick that my attention span is smaller than a gnat turd, and all I want to do is sleep and hork.  I also think I’ve been pretty much Robotrippin 24/7 for the last three days.  For me the week’s worst was the fight I got into with Dina at the CVS yesterday when I was trying valiently to purchase some cold medicine.  Basically, you now have to sign your entire life away to buy any kind of pills that might actually make you feel better.  THANKS,  METH HEADS, you STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!  Dina (CVS Pharmacy Tech) decided that a really good time to experiment with Texas State Drug Regulations is when a seriously sick person is standing at your counter coughing all over the store.  Dina got told.  Then I felt bad, and had to say, “Look, Dina, I’m not trying to be a bitch.  I’m just really sick.  Sorry.  Stupid meth heads.”  She laughed and gave me a candy bar and an application for a CVS card.  I guess it worked out okay.

A note to Meth Heads: FUCK YOU GUYS.  FUCK YOU TO DEATH WITH A DIRTY SPOON.  I hate you guys — so much.  Look, I don’t really care if you want to smoke driveway cleaner.  Have at it.  Get wasted on cat poop and stool softener, I don’t care.  Just don’t fucking do it to the extent that you fuck everyone else over.  I mean, how the fuck much pseudoephidrine did you assholes have to BUY before the government  made a whole system to stop you?  Basically, not only are you stupid, but you’re GREEDY.  If you’d just cooked up enough for everybody who lives in your trailer, no one ever would have noticed — but, no, you decided to get Meth rich (which basically means you can afford the name brand kool-aid, but not dental work) and over-produce.  Now we’ve got flaming mobile meth labs rolling down major highways because people who FLUNKED HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY somehow think they’re competent to create drugs fit for human ingestion, and I CAN’T GET SOME GOD DAMNED TYLONAL SEVERE COLD AND FLU pills without having to present four kinds of valid identification and pass a retinal scan.  Seriously, meth heads — go fuck yourselves.  P.S. I hear strychnine will get you high as fuck.  It’s an active ingrediant in rat poison.  Cook that shit up.  Enjoy.


About rubberchickensociety

The Rubber Chicken Society is a loosely knit collective of free thinkers who support and enjoy chicken related humor.
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4 Responses to Your (Somewhat) Weekly Wrap-Up…

  1. moi? says:

    whoa! and to think that my short-span attention is actually something normal in my daily life. don’t take meds -they’re for weak people, a cold won’t kill ya. it certainly didn’t kill me… neither did my PMS, neither that final-boss-fever that almost -but not quite- took me to the dark side, i stopped smoking with no back-up patches, didn’t need meds to watch my six when i was alcohol-poisoned… and it’s been eight years since i divorced doctors and meds. i’m a cheap -but decent- version of Chuck Norris, ha-ooh! ha-ooh!

  2. moi? says:

    p.s.: now that is some creative way to send someone on their way to fuck themselves haha

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